The personal growth industry is massive—$40 billion massive. But here’s the problem: most of it is complete bullshit.
Let me explain. It’s not that personal growth itself doesn’t work. It’s that the way most people approach it—and the way the industry markets it—is fundamentally flawed. If you’ve ever attended a seminar, read a self-help book, or watched a motivational video only to crash and burn days later, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
In this blog, I’ll break down why most personal growth fails, how it traps you in a cycle of addiction to suffering, and what you can do to make it actually work for you.
The Vicious Cycle of Personal Growth
Let’s start with the typical pattern of self-improvement:
- The High
You read a book, attend a seminar, or hear a coach speak. You’re fired up. The speaker paints a picture of a life that’s extraordinary—wealth, health, and happiness. Your brain lights up with dopamine, and you feel like anything is possible. - The Crash
Then reality kicks in. You hit roadblocks, life throws challenges your way, and the initial high fades. Suddenly, the gap between where you are and where you want to be feels insurmountable. - The Spiral
You dip lower than when you started. Why? Because now you’re carrying the weight of unmet expectations. You’ve tasted the idea of “more,” and the reality of not achieving it hurts like hell. - The Chase
To escape the pain, you seek another hit. Another seminar. Another book. Another coach. It’s a cycle, and you’re trapped in it like an addict chasing their first high.
This cycle isn’t growth—it’s addiction to suffering. And the personal growth industry thrives on it because it keeps you coming back for more.
Why Most Personal Growth Fails
The reason this happens is simple: no clear target.
When people dive into personal growth, they often don’t know why they’re doing it. Sure, “I want to make more money” or “I want to be happy” sounds good, but those are surface-level aspirations. Without a deeply meaningful target and a strong why, it’s impossible to weather the discomfort that comes with real transformation.
The Fix: Find Your Target and Anchor It with a Strong Why
Here’s how to break free from the cycle and make personal growth stick:
- Define Your Target
Your target is your specific goal—something measurable, clear, and aligned with your values. It needs to be more than a vague aspiration. For example:- Don’t just say, “I want to make more money.” Instead, say, “I want to make my first $1 million to secure my parents’ retirement.”
- Don’t just say, “I want to lose weight.” Instead, say, “I want to lose 20 pounds to have the energy to play with my kids after work.”
- Connect It to a Strong Why
Your why is the emotional anchor. It’s the reason that goal matters deeply to you. Without a strong why, your target becomes meaningless when challenges arise.Examples:- “I want to make my first $1 million so I can repay my parents for the sacrifices they made for me.”
- “I want to lose weight because I want to set an example of health and vitality for my children.”
- Expect the Dip
Growth isn’t a straight line—it’s a staircase. You’ll climb, stumble, and climb again. The key is to expect the setbacks, not fear them. When you have a strong target and a powerful why, you’ll find the motivation to keep moving forward, even when life knocks you down. - Stop Chasing Highs, Start Doing the Work
The seminars, books, and coaches are tools—not the solution. True growth comes from consistent, uncomfortable action toward your target.
How to Apply This to Your Life
- Get Clear on Your Target
Write down what you want to achieve and why it matters to you. Be brutally honest. - Make It Emotional
Connect your goal to something that lights a fire in your soul. If it doesn’t move you to your core, it won’t be enough to push you through the tough days. - Hold Yourself Accountable
Use a journal, an accountability partner, or a coach (the right kind) to track your progress and stay aligned with your target. - Embrace the Discomfort
Growth isn’t meant to feel good. It’s meant to challenge you. When you hit the dip, remind yourself of your why and keep going.
Conclusion: The Real Work
Most personal growth stops at the “high.” It promises sunshine and rainbows without preparing you for the storm. But real growth—the kind that transforms your life—is messy, uncomfortable, and full of dips.
The difference between those who succeed and those who stay stuck in the cycle is having a target and a strong why.
So, what’s your target? What’s your why? Write it down, commit to it, and let it guide you through the highs and lows.
Call to Action
If this post resonated with you, share it with someone who’s stuck in the personal growth cycle. They need to hear this.
Want to dive deeper? Watch the full podcast episode here for actionable tips on setting meaningful targets and staying accountable to them.
Let’s break the cycle and start doing the real work. Big love, my friend. Let’s get it.
